对联体诗（开阔诗野）

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 06:11
謝謝邀請。
若說寫詩，小老頭筆拙。有幾句單比拙句十多年沒想出對句來。
請詞長賜教可好？

应对你的出句并不难
但要对得好就难了。
我暂时不想应对。

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 03:43

辨析：
寒心（動詞）==/==傲骨（名詞）
詞性對仗失對。



寒心，寒冷的心
傲骨，骄傲的骨

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 05:12
複製芻議如上。
詞長關於“都是偏正”的見解是錯誤的。“傲骨”和“寒心”不是“偏正”結構的組詞。
...

本帖最后由 林泉 于 2018-5-15 05:35 编辑

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-12 09:36
傲骨　　
寒心
都是偏正呀，没有错


校對：
青山一座妩媚　　
平平仄仄仄仄---古音。出律。
平平平仄仄仄---今音。出律。

残照半江浮沉　　
平仄仄平平平----古音。出律。
平仄仄平平平----今音。出律。

吟尽梅诗傲骨　　
平仄平平仄仄
平仄平平仄仄

望穿秋水寒心　　
仄平平仄平平
仄平平仄平平  
芻議;
句中格律有悖於六言句律譜。


这首诗的平仄，你改一下好吗？

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 01:41
不敢苟同詞長的見解。
辨析：
御/霜雪==動賓結構。  霜雪/聯合結構。

我依然认为
御/霜雪
驱/寂寥
都是动宾结构

是你错了。

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 04:23
校對：
桃花朵朵，苔痕一地门阶绿

你说的没有道理

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 01:30
校對：
紫龙岭上，许多游客观日
仄平仄仄，仄平平仄平仄------六言句出律。

你最好写几首四六八十绝对联体诗，然后比对我的同样的诗。这样，才能说明问题。才能说明，我为什么要这样写，不这样写，就成不了诗。或是你那样写，会不会比我的诗更合律，更有诗意。
你不写，却来讨论对联体诗。不妥。

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 01:30
校對：
紫龙岭上，许多游客观日
仄平仄仄，仄平平仄平仄------六言句出律。

你意思是在白马寺前坐禅，是离经叛道么？
还有，紫龙山是没有山岭的么？

振波浪清

继续来
上山人斫竹   
牵柳岸浮烟   

羽扇摇来三日雨   
键盘敲出五更风

罗志海

振波浪清 发表于 2018-5-16 21:54
继续来
上山人斫竹   
牵柳岸浮烟   

是你的对联么？

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-16 21:56
是你的对联么？

上山人斫竹   
牵柳岸浮烟——这一句是我的

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-16 21:56
是你的对联么？

羽扇摇来三日雨   
键盘敲出五更风——这两句都是我的

罗志海

振波浪清 发表于 2018-5-16 21:59
羽扇摇来三日雨   
键盘敲出五更风——这两句都是我的

明白了

罗志海

永恒的爱

捻一缕心香，远寄云端送朋友
掬三分月色，遥观故里思恋人
感天地保佑，山盟海誓毋见异
期上苍垂怜，石烂江枯不沾尘

注：第一二句罗志海作，第三四句钱永德作。


Eternal Love

Twist a wisp of fragrance of my heart
remotely send to my friends
in the clouds

Hold one-third of the moonlight with both hands
overlook my hometown
think of my sweetheart

Feel that heaven and earth bless us
a solemn pledge of love
don't be strange

Expect God has pity on us
till seas run dry
stones crumble
aren’t stained with dust

Note: first and second sentences by Luo Zhihai.
Third and fourth sentences by Qian Yongde.

5/17/2018对联体 ● 十二绝 罗志海译
Couplet Poem ● Twelve Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第5949首对联体诗
The 5,949th Couplet Poem

罗志海

振波浪清 发表于 2018-5-16 21:54
继续来
上山人斫竹   
牵柳岸浮烟   

http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxi ... 0-627ab30e98b0.html
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/ ... d-beautiful-lyrics/
153楼
http://bbs.zhsc.net/thread-5891098-6-1.html

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-18 07:18
永恒的爱

捻一缕心香，远寄云端送朋友

捻一缕心香，远寄云端送朋友:strong:
掬三分月色，遥观故里思恋人:strong:
感天地保佑，山盟海誓毋见异
期上苍垂怜，石烂江枯不沾尘

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-18 08:00
http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxiang4291fce5-2fb0-41fd-9d80-627ab30e98b0.html
https://www.poemhunt ...

景秀詞美

憑欄閣對平湖月
拾步廊伸靜石亭
墨筆生花千古韻:strong:
詩詞寄意百年情:strong:

注：第一二句振波浪清作，第三四句羅志海作。


Pretty Scenery And Beautiful Lyrics

Lean against the railing
the pavilion faces
to the Moon over the Peaceful Lake
The corridor extends
to the Silent Stone Pavilion
steps

The ink brush so pretty
the rhymes through the ages
The poetry and lyrics place on the moods
a hundred years of the feelings

Note: first and second sentences by Zhenbolangqing.
Third and fourth sentences by Luo Zhihai.

5/16/2018對聯體 ● 五絕 羅志海譯
Couplet Poem ● Five Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第5954首對聯體詩
The 5,954th Couplet Poem
Luo Zhihai
Topic(s) of this poem: age, beautiful, feeling, ink, lyrics, mood, poetry, rhyme, year

罗志海

林泉 发表于 2018-5-15 01:30
校對：
紫龙岭上，许多游客观日
仄平仄仄，仄平平仄平仄------六言句出律。

雨润花枝俏丽
风亲柳絮轻柔

上面是我写的对联。请林泉诗友写另一联，合成一首对联体诗。
你可愿意？
这副对联，工整，平仄依次顺延，句头，句中及句尾没有三平或三仄。不犯孤平。合律。
要求你的对联，平仄依次顺延，要与我的对联，二三句要粘连。不犯孤平，合律。你能做得到吗？

罗志海

游历

临轩观朗月
拄杖踏高坡
心性河山养
爱情风雨磨

注：第一二句陈轩葵作，第三四句罗志海作。


Travel

Near window
watch the bright moon
Lean on a cane
set foot on a high slope

The wind and rain
grind our love
The country fosters
our temperaments

Note: first and second sentences by Chen Xuankui.
Third and fourth sentences by Luo Zhihai.

5/20/2018对联体 ● 七绝 罗志海译
Couplet Poem ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第5973首对联体诗
The 5,973th Couplet Poem

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-20 21:32
游历

临轩观朗月

游历

临轩观朗月
拄杖踏高坡
心性河山养:strong:
爱情风雨磨:strong:

注：第一二句陈轩葵作，第三四句罗志海作。

罗志海

振波浪清 发表于 2018-5-16 21:54
继续来
上山人斫竹   
牵柳岸浮烟   

http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxi ... 9-cacafd73774c.html
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/archaeology-7/
154楼
http://bbs.zhsc.net/thread-5891098-6-1.html

罗志海

振波浪清 发表于 2018-5-20 22:02
游历

临轩观朗月

http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxi ... b-e37a36c2f6c5.html
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-beautiful-scenery-3/
277楼http://swsm.net/thread-422589-15-1.html

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-22 07:49
http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxiang1ac88ee3-97c1-4c44-ad19-cacafd73774c.html
https://www.poemhunte ...

考古

痴观柳韵醉东岸:strong:
漫赏梅香弥北国:strong:
昔日皇台深帅府
今朝野草乱沙 坡

注：第一二句罗志海作，第三四句振波浪清作。


Archaeo logy

Infatuated to watch the rhymes of willows
get drunk on the East Bank
Romantic to enjoy the plum fragrance
pervade the Northland

In the past
the imperial palace of the Emperor
the deep mansion of the marshal
Today
in the confused sand slope
the wild grass

Note: first and second sentences by Luo Zhihai.
Third and fourth sentences by Zhenbolangqing.

5/21/2018对联体 ● 七绝 罗志海译
Couplet Poem ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第5981首对联体诗
The 5,981th Couplet Poem
Luo Zhihai
Topic(s) of this poem: archaeology, drunk, flower, grass , rhyme, romantic, today, tree

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-22 08:07
http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxiang8510b3e2-535e-499b-b03b-e37a36c2f6c5.html
https://www.poemhunte ...

美景

夜朗湖明争送月
桃红柳绿挤迎春
风花雪月年年美:strong:
秋夏冬春日日新:strong:

注：第一二句振波浪清作，第三四句罗志海作。


The Beautiful Scenery.

Night and lake
contend to send moon
Peaches red and willows green
crowd to greet spring

Fall, summer, winter and spring
every day are new
Wind, flower, snow and moon
every year are pretty

Note: first and second sentences by Zhenbolangqing.
Third and fourth sentences by Luo Zhihai.

5/21/2018对联体 ● 七绝 罗志海译
Couplet Poem ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第5982首对联体诗
The 5,982th Couplet Poem
Luo Zhihai
Topic(s) of this poem: beautiful, day, fall, flower, fruit, green, greet, lake, moon, new

罗志海

振波浪清 发表于 2018-5-22 12:41
美景

夜朗湖明争送月

http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxi ... 1-7a5dd321a6b1.html
https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-drunken-beauty/
65楼
http://www.hkscxh.net/forum.php? ... p;extra=&page=3

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-22 19:43
http://www.chinapoesy.com/gongxiang5d3e0fcc-26da-4cf3-b951-7a5dd321a6b1.html
https://www.poemhunte ...

几度山河风雨画
一轮天月古今人
蛾眉淡扫媚君眼:strong:
莲步轻移醉 客心:strong:

注：第一二句振波浪清作，第三四句罗志海作。


The Drunken Beauty


The country a few times
the wind and rain painting
The ancient and modern people
a wheel of the moon in the sky

She penciled the eyebrows light
to charm your eyes
Moved her beautiful steps
intoxicated the guest's mind

Note: first and second sentences by Zhenbolangqing.
Third and fourth sentences by Luo Zhihai.

5/22/2018对联体 ● 七绝 罗志海译
Couplet Poem ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第5993首对联体诗
The 5,993th Couplet Poem
Luo Zhihai
Topic(s) of this poem: beautiful, beauty, charm, drunk, her, light, mind, moon, sky, you

罗志海

诗钟七格：梅竹雨雷之一

【一】凤顶格——

梅花映雪千山秀
竹韵疏风万里香
雨阵摆明掀巨浪
雷声显赫聚瞿塘

注：第一二句任春芝作，第三四句罗志海作。


Seven Forms Of The Poem Clock: The Plum, Bamboo, Rain And Thunder I

[1] Phoenix Head Form—

The plum blossoms reflected snow
a thousand mountains were pretty
The bamboo rhymes and the sparse wind
ten thousand miles of fragrance

The rain array stated
lifting a huge wave
The thunder sounds illustriously
in the Qu Pond got together

Note: first and second sentences by Ren Chunzhi.
Third and fourth sentences by Luo Zhihai.

5/22/2018对联体 ● 七绝罗志海译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第6001首对联体诗
The 6,001th Two Pairs of Couplets

振波浪清

罗志海 发表于 2018-5-23 13:20
诗钟七格：梅竹雨雷之一

【一】凤顶格——

【一】凤顶格——

梅花映雪千山秀
竹韵疏风万里香
雨阵摆明掀巨浪——浪/韵母撞韵了
雷声显赫聚瞿塘

注：第一二句任春芝作，第三四句罗志海作。

罗志海

诗钟七格：柳桃路桥之五鹤膝格

尺壁寸阴桃韵亮
成春着手柳条扬
游园赏景路宽广
渡水翻江桥坦长

注：第一二句罗志海作，第三四句钱永德作。


Seven Forms Of The Poem Clock: The Willow, Peach, Road And Bridge V, Crane Knee Form

Time is more expensive than jade
the peach rhymes are bright
A hand with spring
the willow withes flutter

Tour garden and enjoy scenery
the road is broad
The bridge is flat and long
across water and turn over river

Note: first and second sentences by Luo Zhihai. Third and fourth sentences by Qian Yongde.

5/25/2018对联体 ● 七绝罗志海译
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第6025首对联体诗
The 6,025th Two Pairs of Couplets

罗志海

蔥籠情意

南山燦爛桃花豔
西苑蔥籠竹葉青
易水瓊崖相思淚
長亭古道別離情


The Green And Luxuriant Feelings

In the south mountain resplendent
the peach blossoms gorgeous
In the west garden green and luxuriant
the bamboo leaves green

The Yi Water and the Qiong Cliffs

the lovesick tears
The long pavilion and the ancient road
the parting feelings

5/27/2018對聯體 ● 七絕羅志海著譯
Two Pairs of Couplets ● Seven Words of Quatrain by Luo Zhihai
第6035首對聯體詩
The 6,035th Two Pairs of Couplets

罗志海

花盛开

深山踏翠花粘履
旷野寻幽汗漫头
半夜春风开境界
满园芳卉竞风流

注：第一二句陈轩葵作，第三四句罗志海作。


Flowers In Full Bloom

I stepped green
flowers glued on my shoes
in the deep hill

I look for the secluded scenery
sweats pervaded my head
on the open country

The spring breeze
opened a state
in the mid evening

Full garden of the fragrant flowers
compete romance

Note: first and second sentences by Chen Xuankui.
Third and fourth sentences by Luo Zhihai.

5/28/2018对联体 ● 七绝 罗志海译
Couplet Poem ● Seven Words of Quatrain
Translation by Luo Zhihai
第6046首对联体诗
The 6,046th Couplet Poem